Accountability software is important and perhaps necessary for teens with phones. The most important thing is that your level of trust for each other is higher than your trust in the software. If you don’t have this level of trust your child should probably not have a phone or the internet should be completely shut off.
Accountability Software reports the user’s internet activity to their accountability partner. In the case of children, the accountability partners are the parents.
Qustodio and Mobicip are packages designed with parents and children in mind. These packages include filtering software and send alerts and tracking reports to the parents. Optionally they can also use the phone’s GPS to report the child’s location. Times can be set for internet use, texting and calling to be allowed as well. These packages can offer fine or coarse control. See the Internet Filters and Accountability Software page for more information on particular packages. Note that some accountability software only reports. You should choose a package that blocks as well. The software will report the attempt – but not show the requested material, so you are not closing the barn door after the horse has escaped.
Accountability software provides two main protections for your child – they have the extra incentive for good behavior of knowing they are watched, and they are protected from accidental and deliberate access to materials they should avoid.
Your children should be as comfortable that you are watching their electronics use as they would be when you watch them at any other activity. Remember that praise is as important as chastisement – let them look forward to sharing with you.
No reporting software is 100% accurate. When you have something reported, use that as a starting point to talk, don’t treat it as an ironclad accusation. Be in a habit of regularly checking your child’s physical device – you can check the report in the browser history, for example. Check who is texting and calling your child, and look at any social media feeds.
Build an environment of mutual trust. Share with your child when appropriate – guide their use through watching your own. When they are adults, they will want the same kind of relationship with their accountability partners in the church.