These are some general practices to help families navigate technology use. This list is by no means exhaustive, and the Tech Team would like to know the practices that work for your family as well. In addition to this page, please take time to visit the Practical Steps and 7 Habits Of Online Integrity pages at IntegrityOnline.org.
Remember that our children will often have access to their own or others’ devices when they are out of supervision; so it is essential for them to develop personal conviction and self-discipline. There has to be a relationship of respect and understanding where the parents can communicate their love, and that restriction of online use is for our good.
All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify. Let no one seek his own, but each one the other’s well-being.
1 Corinthians 10:23-24 NKJV
General Computer Use:
Set limits on technology and internet usage that you are comfortable with. No members of your family should have access or devices that the parents feel are inappropriate or cannot be monitored or controlled. None is a perfectly valid level of internet use for your family if you so choose.
Limit computer use to a common area, and set up screens so they can be seen by others.
Computer access should be limited by password, so children can only access the computer when a parent logs them in.
Set limits on both time spent on-screen, and times allowed on-screen. (See Limiting Online Time)
Use content filters.
Personal Devices:
If children have personal devices (cellphones, smartphones, tablets, handhelds) they should also be locked, and both parents must have access. (Smartphones with fingerprint access or facial recognition can set up multiple users).
Personal devices (smartphones, tablets, handhelds) do not go to bedrooms. Alarm clocks are inexpensive and effective, and gang chargers are available where all devices can be collected to charge overnight.
Devices are to be handed over to parents whenever asked.
When not in use, devices should be in a specified place (see chargers above). They should not be carried around on someone’s person all the time.
Limit or forbid social media use. Note that Facebook’s terms and conditions require all users to be 18+. Evaluate the content, privacy protections, and who your child wants to interact with before allowing them to set up an account on any social media.
Use content filters, ad blockers, and accountability software.
Focus and Evaluate:
Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!
2 Corinthians 13:5 ESV
Emphasize technology’s use as a tool – do we go to the computer, or open a device with a purpose? To perform a certain task, to read about a particular topic? Do we complete that purpose, and turn it off?
Does our work area reflect our faith? What is your screen background, and your screensaver? What is the screen background on your child’s device? Make those images that remind you of all things lovely and to whom you belong.
Are we giving up other things – reading, praying, visiting, exercising – for time online?
He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.
John 21:17 KJV
As Christians we need to be contributors, not consumers. It is hard work to be a real contribution to those around us. Our obsession with shopping, news, social media, and video comes from a desire to be fed by someone else. If we can put aside that desire, and remember what Jesus asks of us, we’ll find that the computer is powerful tool for creation. It makes writing, film, programming and publishing possible for everyone. Are we contributing?
Check in often – ask for their device, ask them about their use. Who has tried to contact them, what are they looking for/at. Do you have the relationship you need to influence your child’s technology use? Do they respect your authority, and understand that you are watching for their good? Does your interest in and monitoring of their use of technology communicate your love for them? You care about a lot more than just technology in their lives. Use the opportunity to talk about other things as well. How is their walk?
Have A Plan:
For help in formulating a plan to help your family with technology, go to the Family Technology Strategy page.